Vine

I procrastinated a lot when it came to writing this blog post due to the fact that I wasn't sure quite what to say. I think that vines can be funny but I think that the vast majority of them are a swing and a miss. Some people like to look at other people looking stupid but when it is in such an awkward way (at times) it makes it very hard for me to stay tuned. I myself have some such vines on my account wherein I look very awkwardly stupid and I leave them up there to remind myself not to get to prideful. Back to the point, Vine is an underdeveloped art form that usually misses the mark. When I want to waste hours of my time I have better things to do. In order to help illustrate my point I am going to share six things that are better for wasting hours than Vine.

1. Facebook - It helps me to see what my friends and family (those that use Facebook) are up to and it helps me to keep in touch with them. I can also use it to see what is going on in the world, find obscure things that people I know have recently found, and of course entertain myself by passive aggressively friending and un-friending people. Plus, it is a place I can go to complain.
2. Twitter - See Facebook*. (*replace friending with following and emphasize the complaining)
3. Television - Channel surfing and watching TV is a great way to waste a few hours. 
4. Netflix - In the modern era one of the best ways to consume visual media is to see if it is on Netflix. The appropriate response to finding things on Netflix that you would like to watch is to start binge watching those things.
5. Read a book - Although an antiquated activity that few people in my generation seem to do reading a book is an enjoyable pastime that might actually be good for you. If you choose the right book you can be not only entertained, but enthralled, for hours at a time. 
6. Poke someone - This might sound like it is an annoying thing to do but it isn't annoying to the person doing it. If you can keep at it for hours then that is impressive but if not, at least you are being social. 

My Favorite TV Oldie

Asking me if I have a favorite TV oldie is like asking me if I have a favorite book. There are simply too many for me to pick a favorite. Some of the older shows I really like are Three's Company, Home Improvement, and Married.. With Children. I know they are oldies because my parents enjoyed them but, that being said, they're not super innocent. Three's Company is about three young adults who live together and there are constant references to sex, tons of implied sexuality, and a load of physical humor. Even though this is very different than Home Improvement they share a couple of things. One of the main things that they share is references to sex. There is a good balance in Home Improvement between family values and adult references so that it is a good show for the whole family. Married.. With Children is not a good show for the whole family. It paints humanity in a terrible light as it shows the life of Al Bundy, women's shoe salesman, his kind of whorish wife with her cheetah print, and the two kids they had together. It is raunchy and cheap and hilarious to me and many other fans. So it is nothing other than the fact that I like the shows that I like that makes me enjoy these classic TV oldies.

Never Laugh When You're In Trouble

     Never ever laugh when you're in trouble. I don't mean when don't laugh when you're scared, because that is the best time to laugh, I am saying when you are in the process of being reprimanded or beaten you should definitely not laugh. And you definitely shouldn't laugh so hard you fall out of your chair. 

     Once I was in trouble with my dad because I busted a hole in a wall. I was probably about thirteen years old and I had a bit of a temper and so did my dad. In the midst of his yelling at me I burst out laughing at the utter ridiculousness of it all. It was a poor decision. I ended up having to pay to have the hole fixed after trying, and failing, to fix it myself. On that day I promised to never again kick a wall while wearing Crocs because it was obvious that the wall couldn't handle the Croc's majesty.

      Another time I was at church and I had cut Sunday school so that I could walk to Taco Bell with my friends. When I got back there was still time left int he service so I decided to fool around with my friends. We went out to the sign leading into the church and we sat on it. Apparently we were distracting passing traffic and the police had to come and remove us from the sign. That is another bad time to start to laugh at the situation you are in. There was no way to explain our sober behavior to the nice police officers though so I was forced to chortle. It was interesting to explain to my parents why they had to pick me up from a security holding location. 

     Finally, the story you were all waiting for, I was told to sit and wait. This was right after I got a concussion and I was supposed to wait to be checked out. I was sitting and waiting and listening to my coach tell me what I had done wrong to get lit up the way that I did. I just started laughing. I laughed myself off my chair and onto the floor. And that's how you piss off a football coach.